Wednesday 23 May 2012

What's this feeling? Ohh yes i remember, Normal..

So i NEVER thought id say this but i actually am beginning to feel normal!!
Who would have thought? 10 days after my princess said hello and goodbye, I feel okay..

I still have odd moments where i think OMG this is so awful, BUT... a big BUT.. I beginning to see now that although it was an awful thing to happen, It happened for the right reasons and i no longer hate the world... :D 

Who would have thought a week ago things could change so dramatically! Im not really feeling depressed or sa im just feeling normal... Im not feeling anything i wouldnt say im happy but i wouldnt say im sad neither.. I suppose this is a good thing.. I also feel like im doing some positive rather then making everything a negative. 
Ive had talks with abortion agencies who have asked to see the pictures and Ive spoken to campaigners called ONE SONOGRAPHER on facebook who have also said they may use the pictures for there talks around the country and America... So my baby wil be changing lives.. I also wanna help people go through awful stages of such a loss.. So im sorry if you have lost a baby and ive sent u a message wishing love and best wishes its not me being a nosey cow! lol But i know how nice and reassuring it was to have those messages from people just to say we havent forgotten you and sending love.. Random acts of kindness.. 

I hope people do think differently about loss after this... ive had alot negative comments like

" it wasn't even a baby!"

"why dont you have another one?"

"why are you grieving over something you never had?"

my argument to all those negative comments is 

it wasnt even a baby?? 

if a single cell was discovered in another planet scientist would say "we have found life on another planet" 
so why is a cell in a pregnancy considered a life???

to why dont you have another one? if your mum/dad/sister or nan died would you be able to just call someone else by that name..? and just forget about them? No, because to you there were your parent sibling or grandparents same as us! That was our baby and we cannot replace it! it is not a shoe that you lose and OH ITS OKAY ILL BUY ANOTHER PAIR... its not like that! 

why are you grieving over something you never had!!!

Ok imagine this..... You win the lottery you plan in your mind what your gunna do with all that lovely money! you plan practically your whole life... your told in 3 months you can have it on this day it will be yours! 
You have 3 months of planning your life.. then on that 3 month on that day you people take the money and you never hear another word!!! theres no one you can blame and your annoyed! cos you have planned all this stuff you wanted to do!!!
Thats how it is for us! we had plans for our children.. regardless of if they were here or not you still had plans some as you and your money!! 


So please be careful of what you say to people... 


I hope your all well and this is just a quick one to say im doing well and much love to you all xxxxxxx

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