First Antenatal... Appointment

So today is the day i turn

8 Weeks... 

And today i feel a big relief as apparently the miscarriage rates drop to about 2%...

Which okay is still high for any sort of worry you might have, but i have reached this mile stone  :D

So its my first antenatal and i was feeling soo very excited.. Ive hoped from the beginning that getting "that red book" would make me feel a whole lot better about it all and maybe it would sink in (for those who dont know that red book is your antenatal notes and labour records)... up until now it hasnt sunk in completely...

and after getting these notes..... it STILL hasnt sunk in! lol

So i went into the clinic and had both my girls with me and went to the counter she looked at me with this huge smile mad me feel so much better about going.. Normally going to these appointments i hate the idea of them looking at me thinking ohh you already have two children why you having more!!! but this lady was really friendly she handed me a wee sample cup and tube and asked me to do one for the midwife so i took the cup to the toilet and tried to do it with two kids in toe bugging me outside the door... ARRRGGGGHHH stress....

finally done it and went outside and waited with the horrible wee cup covered in tissue so no one could see... However everyone does the same so everyone must have known what it was lol but to me NO ONE knew lol 

Withen minutes the midwilfe called me into the room and went through all the questions they ask you...

like

have you ever had a miscarriage/stillbirth/abortion or live birth??

Does your partner hit you??

Do you feel scared at home?

Do you work?

What meat do you eat?

Have you had previous children etc etc?

it took about an hour and the kids drove me mad, but as i looked at the clock we were slowly getting there!!! :D Woo Hoo

Then i heard those dreaded words you need a blood test!!! WHAT??? a blood test NOW??? 

I've never known a blood test to be done at 8 weeks but NOPE cos its me i needed to get it done... 

she told me to head out to the room opposite hers and go get it done quickly and as we walked out the room the doctor women had the needle at the ready! saying the delivery was coming now and if we rushed we could get it done on time to be sent today!! i literally sat there trying not to cry while the girls said to me...

"MUM, thats a big needle you need to be brave"  THANKS girls!!! lol

but i sat there like a good big girl as she took at least 20 pints of blood!! OK 20 might be an over statement but i swear it was at least 4 tubes lol!!!

she said to me ohh you have warm blood!!! i said yes, thats fear for you!!!! :( they laughed and sent me back to the midwife ... 

Back in the room she handed me a white bag filled with 6 boxes of multi vitamins and loads of leaflets for different things like milk and nappies samples!! You know all the normal bits!!

As i looked at it all she said to me that i would need to come back in August for GTT for anyone who doesnt know its called a GLUCOSE TOLERANCE TEST.. They basically ask you to starve or fast as they put it for 12 hours before get you to have blood test and give you a pure sugar drink that tastes disgusting and then wait an hour and then take another blood test to see how quickly your body processes sugar just incase you get diabetes.... I have declined this although she told me THIS IS NOT ADVISED!!! maybe in august i would have changed my mind! BUT dont ask me just after I've had a big needle lol

I think somewhere in my records it must say

"Has a needle phobia, give needles at every possible appointment!"

Im still suffering now... But i will recover soon..

I got my 12 week scan through so i feel abit better its for the 8th May ill be just 10+4 days so im hoping you can still see everything thats needed to see.. otherwise its going to be a waste of time!

I cannot wait to tell everyone! although dont get me wrong this isnt the worlds best kept secret anyone who has spoken to me in the past 8 weeks knows! BUT lol i wanna put it all over facebook... 

no reason why i just want to maybe then it will seem more real! :D 

so ive gone on and on about rubbish.. if anyone wants to message me or ask me anything feel free to send me a email at 

scarlettxlane@yahoo.co.uk 

Much Love

xxx

First proper scan baby seen :D

So today is the day I have been waiting for....

16th April 2012... at 4pm 

I went to the hospital to finally see our baby at 7+2 weeks pregnant!

As they called my name i walked up to the scan room where a very friendly lady waited and told me that she would be scanning me... she asked me if i had had any pain or problems she should know before the scan.. i told her i had some slight cramping and a few worries but nothing too extreme!

I got changed into the same old towel they leave on the back on the toilet door and went to sit in the huge chair with those leg and feet holders and waited for her to scan me...

I couldn't help but think she was going to say no I'm sorry but you have lost the baby.. dont ask why but i just had a very strange feeling that maybe this wasn't going to be good news like i had hoped :(

She began the scan and next thing she said was "ill turn the screen around in a minute for you to see ..." as all you can see when having an internal scan is the ceiling and the side of her face as she is slowly staring at this screen.... She then says all looks fine and turns the screen and all of a sudden this massive sigh of relief from me, but as i stared at this screen i could see no heart beat suddenly i just felt like.. its happened.... then she zoomed in and you could see this tiny little flickering on the screen a fuzzy black and white tiny flicker of the black and white colour... who knew something so small would make you feel so happy!!!

I asked her if there was any chance i could get a picture and she said "You may, But please dont get it out in the waiting room, as there is people who have lost babies waiting" :(

 I said okay and couldn't wait to get my print of the baby :D

I left the scan room and noticed on the letter she has given me with the baby scan picture, Had a due date of 30th November which means I have been put forward a day :D. Now i know that sounds silly but i was soo happy its like a day less i have to wait! :D 

When i left the hospital my mum was waiting with the girls outside and i showed her the picture and she was like it looks like a mouse! which in theory it looks like.. well... a white mark on the screen lol but that tiny white mark is my tiny baby ..... <3

Suddenly it dawned on me OMG IM HAVING A BABY!!! a tiny baby!! i so dont feel prepared!!!! 

so here is the picture of my tiny little man.. Im convinced its a boy....

 Now in all  fairness it does look like a tiny blob on the screen but its soo tiny... just makes me feel so happy to know he is fine and doing well in there .....

He had grown 11mm since the last time i went two weeks ago which isnt really a lot BUT its gone from like a grain of rice size to the size of a blue berry... 

Ive promised myself that once ive had my 12 week scan i will start buying small bits like nappies wipes baby shampoo etc .. and when i have the 20 week scan i shall begin to look into maybe buying the bigger bits.....

For some reason this time round ive been VERY cautious in telling people or looking or buying things.

Im not to sure why. But I just feel i should wait until i know everything is okay... mad i know but something feels so different this time... i think its knowing all the horror stories around when i had my two girls the internet wasn't such a big thing (well for me anyway) so you couldnt look up the slightest tingle or pain or stitch where as now the smallest thing round and bang its a miscarriage or eptopic pregnancy!!! too many horror stories for my liking!!

So girls or guys please dont take everything you read on the internet seriously as so many people are quick to tell you the bad... but not all aches or pains or bad... best to relax and let be.. 

cos at the end of the day the future we cannot change xxxx

Much Love

Scarlett

Blood Test's & Early Scan

So last week i was in some pain, and went to a&e. They did a pregnancy test on me even though at this point i had already done 5 tests lol as i sat there waiting for her to do the dip test i was hoping god i hope im not wrong or im gunna look soo stupid lol
As she pulled out the test to do i watched her dip it in and after maybe 30 seconds have a worried look on  her face she looked and said are you sure your pregnant? to which i just said "its negative isnt it?" and she replied Yes it is..... To be honest i dont know how i didnt burst into tears! i could feel this massive lump in my throat as i watched her go to throw the test in the bin.. then she said suddenly "OH WAIT its positive these tests are rubbish!!!!!" the sigh of relief was overwhelming and then i thought if i was getting positives why did this take so long to become negative!! talk about worry me more then was needed!

Eventually they sent me up for an early scan.. which i thought would put my mind at rest... after waiting over 6 hours to finally be seen i saw the lady who finally done my scan to be told there was nothing there :'( i was GUTTED a big part of me thought.. id lost it :( she told me to go down for a blood test and then go back on Friday for another test to see if my hormone levels had risen...

As i went for my blood test i was just thinking just go home, you've lost it anyway why go through more pain for nothing :(  but they called me through and i had the blood test and moaned like a baby (i hate needles) and they said they would call me monday with the results!!  Lets hope and pray all was okay!!!


MONDAY!

So i woke up this morning to a phone call at 8.15am to an Unknown number could this be the hospital i thought!
I answer to hear "hello, We have your blood results back they have doubled thats a good sign could you come today for a scan at 11.45am" they also said that my hormone levels where 500 on wednesday when i was 4 weeks and 4 days and 1,300 on friday at 4 weeks and 6 days :D...  i agreed to go and started getting ready to leave.. panicking is this a good sign they want to see me?
As i watched the clock seem to not move i thought bugger it im leaving now at half ten an hour and 15 minutes early :D I got there and signed in nearly an hour early. I had both my little girls with me who sat so well waiting for them to call me into the scan room. Then all of sudden a nurse said Scarlett come in now... I got up and went in and she gave me a blanket and told me to go to the toilet and changed from the waist down and cover myself in the blanket.. as i got changed in the toilets i sat there thinking GOD i hope this goes well!!
I came out wrapped in my towel and look at this massive chair with feet holders in them i sat down and hoped she would find something before i new it she was scanning me and i could not help but stare at her face and watch for the expressions on her face to see what she could see. She raised her eyebrows and i thought .. Nah its time to except that i might not be pregnant..... she looked and said well theres the sac and yolk and the embryo....:D:D:D:D:D i said REALLY??? she said one moment and ill turn the screen.. she then turned the screen and i could see a tiny baby she showed me everything and was like everything looks brilliant the baby is in the perfect position in the uterus smack bang in the middle!!! :D
Then she stopped and said im happy with that now if you wanna go into the bathroom and get changed we can talk about the result!!

As i was in the bathroom i could have easily cried i could feel myself welling up and i just stood there with my hand on my belly thinking wow your actually in there :D.. I came out and she handed me a letter for the GP and then told me that i had to come back in 2 weeks for another scan to see if babies heart was ready as at the moment there is still no heart beat as its still very early and babies heart doesnt start until 6-7 weeks of pregnancy. So i have another scan 16th April im so excited to see it :D as i came out of the hospital curiosity got the better of me and i opened the letter for the gp and it said

Which is good everything can be seen.. other then the heartbeat but he is working on it in there :D

Im feeling so much better about it all... i know baby is growing fine.. I wanna tell the world but know i shouldnt until i know heartbeats okay :D and baby is growing well....

So lets hope he doubles in size by the 16th :D xxxx

5 Weeks and 1 Day Pregnant!

Hi Girlies and Guys,

I thought id start this blog to show you the otherside of pregnancy that you dont see!

So you see all your friends saying "By the way, Im Pregnant!!!" and you may think Awww...

You see all these things about blooming in pregnancy an all the nice things!!!

But hold on, that is by no means what ive been going through lol sooo here is my pregnancy!!!

So ive spent most of last night awake, feeling SO sick!

the worst thing about feeling sick is not being sick because you just cannot get rid of that horrible feeling...
And why people pay to get pregnant! its beyond me lol
The first couple of months are just a nightmare, i love the fact you get a lovely beautiful bouncy baby at the end of it. But the whole sicky and unsettled stomach is so not good!
Last night i could of easily cried with how crap i felt! :(

But on the plus side i think its all good that im having these symptoms as it shows my hormone levels are high and thats what is causing all this bloody sickness!

At the minute im obsessed by buying and doing Pregnancy test's.... I think its cos where i didnt plan on getting pregnant its like OMG! so every time i go past a chemist i think ohhhh i have to buy one! Despite the fact i have two other children and have been through 2 other pregnancies before and know what to expect im still in shock!

So my first pregnancy was 8 years ago now, she was planned and it happened very quickly infact in the first month of trying i fell pregnant :D I was over the moon.. But i was 18 and had so much going on that i didnt even notice many pregnancy symptoms... Sorry tell a lie, the first thing i noticed was how my legs would ache. Do you remember in school or just after a long run when you suddenly stop and then you have that tingley feeling in your legs kinda like a pins and needles feeling but just not so sharp? well thats how i would feel.. But after doing the most sillyiest of things like walking up stairs or walking anywhere steep. But this time i have that as well.. MADNESS! what pregnancy does to you!

My second pregnancy - was nearly 6 years ago now.. She wasnt planned but we have one accident one month and a whole 3 weeks later a positive test... ARRRRGHHH lol i was soo worried having less then a 2 year age difference. But it worked out really well. Second time around NO symptoms at all... So when i found out baby number 3 was on the way i thought woo hoo this is gunna be a walk in the park! :D

HOW WRONG WAS I?

This is buy far the worst start to a pregnancy ive had... not bad as in horrible things have happened, but as in pain and sickyness and all the other wonders that come with pregnancy!

SOOO ive gone way of topic like normal (i do this alot lol) but back to the pregnancy testing. Ive now done in total 9 tests in 2 weeks! and any one buying tests will tell you for a decent one they arent cheap!

BUT im so pleased that last night i had my first ever very very very dark positive!

Where ive always tested soo early ive always had very very pale ones but this is soo clear there is no denying it!! :D

IM PREGNANT!! WOO HOOO :D