So today is the day I have been waiting for....
16th April 2012... at 4pm
I went to the hospital to finally see our baby at 7+2 weeks pregnant!
As they called my name i walked up to the scan room where a very friendly lady waited and told me that she would be scanning me... she asked me if i had had any pain or problems she should know before the scan.. i told her i had some slight cramping and a few worries but nothing too extreme!
I got changed into the same old towel they leave on the back on the toilet door and went to sit in the huge chair with those leg and feet holders and waited for her to scan me...
I couldn't help but think she was going to say no I'm sorry but you have lost the baby.. dont ask why but i just had a very strange feeling that maybe this wasn't going to be good news like i had hoped :(
She began the scan and next thing she said was "ill turn the screen around in a minute for you to see ..." as all you can see when having an internal scan is the ceiling and the side of her face as she is slowly staring at this screen.... She then says all looks fine and turns the screen and all of a sudden this massive sigh of relief from me, but as i stared at this screen i could see no heart beat suddenly i just felt like.. its happened.... then she zoomed in and you could see this tiny little flickering on the screen a fuzzy black and white tiny flicker of the black and white colour... who knew something so small would make you feel so happy!!!
I asked her if there was any chance i could get a picture and she said "You may, But please dont get it out in the waiting room, as there is people who have lost babies waiting" :(
I said okay and couldn't wait to get my print of the baby :D
I left the scan room and noticed on the letter she has given me with the baby scan picture, Had a due date of 30th November which means I have been put forward a day :D. Now i know that sounds silly but i was soo happy its like a day less i have to wait! :D
When i left the hospital my mum was waiting with the girls outside and i showed her the picture and she was like it looks like a mouse! which in theory it looks like.. well... a white mark on the screen lol but that tiny white mark is my tiny baby ..... <3
Suddenly it dawned on me OMG IM HAVING A BABY!!! a tiny baby!! i so dont feel prepared!!!!
so here is the picture of my tiny little man.. Im convinced its a boy....
Now in all fairness it does look like a tiny blob on the screen but its soo tiny... just makes me feel so happy to know he is fine and doing well in there .....
He had grown 11mm since the last time i went two weeks ago which isnt really a lot BUT its gone from like a grain of rice size to the size of a blue berry...
Ive promised myself that once ive had my 12 week scan i will start buying small bits like nappies wipes baby shampoo etc .. and when i have the 20 week scan i shall begin to look into maybe buying the bigger bits.....
For some reason this time round ive been VERY cautious in telling people or looking or buying things.
Im not to sure why. But I just feel i should wait until i know everything is okay... mad i know but something feels so different this time... i think its knowing all the horror stories around when i had my two girls the internet wasn't such a big thing (well for me anyway) so you couldnt look up the slightest tingle or pain or stitch where as now the smallest thing round and bang its a miscarriage or eptopic pregnancy!!! too many horror stories for my liking!!
So girls or guys please dont take everything you read on the internet seriously as so many people are quick to tell you the bad... but not all aches or pains or bad... best to relax and let be..
cos at the end of the day the future we cannot change xxxx
Much Love
Scarlett
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